Fatigue

I have these things…you know issues that I care about and have argued a thousand times and today I realized that in a way I just don’t care. I mean you eventually cross this point where you can’t be bothered to really listen anymore, it’s just easier to classify people and things into whatever they’re spouting at you then to even try to dialogue. And there’s this part of me that wonders if most times I’m just making a big deal out of something that doesn’t even matter.

Like whether or not YA should be taken seriously or if the ending is as important as the journey. Is there an objective standard to measure greatness? Boys and girls and gender and women being president and people of faith being cool and the Help.

I’m just so tired and sometimes I wonder if I just consciously seek out the opposing opinion and go against the grain to feel…I don’t know relevant? Alive? Like I exist?

But then I think, I know I’m not alone because sometimes I’ll read something and realize that person gets it in a way they can express or I’ll hear someone say something that feels deep down true. I know the problem is that trying to exist in the tension will always be exhausting. Really listening will never not take enormous amounts of energy. Seeing past differences will be increasingly difficult in a world that highlights them. Always considering the full humanity of another is never simple.

Maybe I just need to talk less and listen more, I don’t know. I mean does it really matter if at the end of the day YA books are regarded as “great literature”? What really matters, I reckon is that the people who need to read them read them.

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4 Responses to Fatigue

  1. Word Lily says:

    I know what you mean. And then there’s the whole other pandora’s box of, does my engagement in said thing actually help?

  2. Cori says:

    I feel ya. I have so many half-started blog posts about things I think I am passionate about, only to come to realize that at the end of the day, it probably doesn’t matter. People are people and I can try and convince them of things I think are “right,” but is all that time and energy worth it? I’m not sure.

  3. Jason Gignac says:

    Ms Amy -

    You’re willingness to have real conversations about things with people who disagree with you, and to stand up for truth when your thoughts are unpopular are a big part of why I look up to you. It’s hard to be vulnerable and brave at the same time. All love to you, dear.

    Jason

  4. Carlakins says:

    You write interesting and honest thoughts. I am enjoying reading them. You sound ‘real’. That is refreshing.

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